An Answered Prayer

Sometimes we really don't realize just how bad things were until they get better. It is no surprise that the last year has been tough for me, but I thought I had handled losing my job pretty well. I had lined up a part-time job before being laid off, created a budget, stayed current with my bills, and tried to stay positive as I searched for a new job. But I also had started smoking again even though I knew it created serious problems with my lungs. I quit exercising and told myself lifting heavy items and bagging people's groceries as a cashier was enough. I'd spend a great majority of my free time just sitting at my computer. It became more and more difficult for me to get things done at home. I became more and more dependent on escaping to my balcony to smoke even though it had started robbing me of my health. I would go to bed at night wheezing and coughing and get up in the morning in even worse shape. Occasionally, I would realize that I was slipping into a depression, but without insurance felt helpless to do anything about it. The worst thing of all was the smoking. I knew it was killing me but I felt so helpless to do anything about it.

On Wednesday, April 28, my daughter came over for dinner. When she left, I went out to my balcony to smoke. I had 2 cigarettes left. I smoked them and decided in an instant that I was going to quit again. It was not a happy decision. I was full of fear and knew that there was a very good chance I would change my mind by the next morning. As I laid in bed before falling asleep, I began to plead with God to give me strength to do this. I remember saying over and over, "Please help me Lord".

The next morning, I got up and made coffee as I always do. But instead of going out to the balcony with my coffee to smoke, I put on a nicotine patch and sat down at my computer with my coffee. I felt happy and at peace. When I came home from work that night and felt that same sense of peace, I knew that my prayer had been answered.

I am now into my fourth day of not smoking. That in itself is wonderful. The burning and wheezing in my lungs is gone. The cough is getting better every day as my lungs begin to heal. But what is even more amazing is how I feel mentally. I feel like my spirit has been renewed. Now, as I lay in bed before falling asleep, my prayer is one of thanks.

I'm loving my new full-time job and just working Monday through Friday. It was difficult to leave my part-time job because it was so important to me over the last year and they were so good to me. It's been so long since I had a weekend off and I'm loving every minute of it. Yesterday, I went out for a 1-1/2 hour walk and it was wonderful! I used to walk a lot but stopped when I started the cashier job. Below is a picture I took on my walk.

Today, I'm going to buy flowers for my balcony, clean and get ready for my week. If I have time, I'll take a shorter walk or go for a bike ride. I have to say though that I have some sore muscles from yesterday!

Have a great day!

Feeling thankful, Diana