Seeing It Clearly

I often wonder why no matter how good things are going, I can find the negative. Why I can seem so confident to others, but on the inside I am full of self doubt and sometimes even self hate. The answer became quite clear this morning. I woke up this Easter morning very tired from my 8 hour shift yesterday scanning and bagging groceries on one of the biggest food holidays of the year. But I was happy and at peace. Excited because I'm going to buy myself an early birthday present tomorrow - a new bike. And excited about my new job. I called my parents who I will be seeing later today when we go over there for Easter just to wish them a happy Easter and let them know what time my daughter and I will be there. My dad answered the phone and the conversation went like this:

Me: Hi Dad, Happy Easter!
Dad: Happy Easter
Me: Guess What! I decided I'm going to buy a new bike as an early birthday present to myself!
Dad: Oh. What happened to your old bike?
Me: It's broken, 15 years old and would cost more to repair than a new bike
Dad: Oh.
Me: It will be great. A great thing to do as I quit smoking. Today is my last day smoking!
Dad: Oh. Are you going to use the patch?
Me: Yes
Dad: Don't you have to take a drug test tomorrow, what about that? What if they see you have nicotine in your system?

Can you see what happened here? Diana, feeling excited and positive. In two minutes, Dad takes away all of Diana's joy. Makes her feel guilty about buying a bike. Makes her feel guilty and afraid about quitting smoking and using the patch. Makes her feel fearful about her new job. And quite frankly ruins her Easter.

Phone conversation ends with Diana in tears and wondering how she will pull herself together before her daughter comes over so she doesn't ruin her Easter.

ETA: I'm happy to say that Easter was NOT ruined. I pulled it together, told my daughter what happened when she came over, but also assured her there would be nothing said when we went over there. As it turns out, my Dad hugged me right away and all was forgiven and forgotten. Yes, I do know where I get my negative tendencies, but I also know where he got them from. In the future when this happens, I would like to be able to stay in the positive and just not acknowledge that he's being negative.